As promised...

Click on the pictures to see the full size images...
Katie's Hello Kitty Birthday Cake

A bridal Shower Cake

A baby shower cake

Another Bridal Shower Cake

Another Baby Shower cake... for twins

Just a cake for my grandma

Another baby shower cake...

I've been busy this summer.

The biggest D

Is it any wonder that the biggest word to describe a mishap (disaster) begins with the letter D? Possibly the two hardest things in life I have found to deal with also began with the letter D... I'm talking about Divorce and Death.

My mother has always said that as a person, I am at my funniest when I am in crisis. I have this sarcastic sense of humor that just seems to come out when bad stuff happens and helps me get through all of it with a smile on my face. I have to laugh or I will cry.

Divorce was no cakewalk. People that are normally rational adults capable of getting along find themselves tearing each other apart. Why do we do this? I refer to when Kathy Griffin pointed out in a poignant scene "Divorce sucks. It makes you feel like such a failure." Right on sister. And when you fail, it has to be someone's fault. So it's the other person's fault.

That is not the case in my marriage. I ruined my ex-husband's life, and I admit it. I didn't cheat on him, and I didn't lie to him. But I got married before I was sure I wanted to. And I found out the hard way that marriage isn't something that's for me yet. It may never be, I don't know. I'm working on finding the answer to that every day. In the meantime, I took his daughter with me back to the States and left him in Europe with no family. He has picked up the pieces, but there are definitely scars.

Divorce was a humbling experience that took a daily toll on my sanity. But you survive through it. The death of someone you love, however, is something that changes you in the most unexpected ways.

At 18 years old I had to bury my first child. The weak heart that is passed down on my father's side caught up with us and took my baby boy. He was 6 weeks old and had already had 2 operations. Now, 7 and a half years later it can still be hard to accept.

That event changed the entire course of my life. I dropped out of college, quit my job, and moved abroad. I met someone and got married and had another baby as soon as I could manage to. I had a desperate need to fill the void.

I had my child. She turned 5 last week. But the void is still there, and I have finally accepted that it always will be.

Then, in February of this year, my brother committed suicide. I have never felt so lost in my life. My brother and I were close like any two people who have been through tough situations together were. We looked out for each other, and while we fought, we were always there to defend the other from any outsider no matter what.

I still feel lost without him. But his death has also changed me in ways I can already see. I think I am finally starting to grow up. I look at myself a year ago and realize how self-centered a person I was and it amazes me. In a way, I had to take care of my child and my parents when all of this happened. Seeing your parents humbled the way the death of my brother humbled them completely changes the way you see them. I think in a way it made me realize that I no longer have to be taken care of by my family, but that I have to take care of my family.

I'm sorry, I know this post was a bit of a downer, and I don't mean it to be. This post does describe a lot of sad things that have happened in my life in the last 7 years, but all of the things that happened in the last 7 years are what it has taken for me to grow up.

I have a sense of independence and control over my life that I didn't have a year ago. However, at the same time I have become so aware of how little control we all have over what happens and it makes me appreciate what I have so much more.

Tomorrow night, one of my brother's best friend's band ( my brother played the drums for them a few years ago) is playing a tribute concert for him and I'm taking my mother to go see it. He called me the other day and told me he had written a song for Steven and he wanted to play it at the concert. I know I'm going to cry when I go, but I think it will be good for my mother to see just how many people cared about my brother and how his death has affected so many people.

The longest 4 days of my LIFE

Okay, gentle readers, grab some snacks and get settled in because if this post is as long as my weekend was, you'll need sustenance to get through it.

Wednesday my daughter turned 5. And I think the DIVA gene kicks fully in on this day because my precocious little darling went full swing into DIVA mode at this point. We gave her the choice of where she wanted to eat her birthday dinner, and of course she picks the swankiest restaurant in town (but keep in mind this is Columbus, GA, we are not talking the MGM Grand here) where kids are seen but not heard, and that is definitely NOT my child.

Anyhow, I rushed away from work to make it to dinner and my ex and my family had already been seated by the time I got there. My fiance was not yet there but on his way. As I approached the table, it turned out we were sitting at the table next to my ex boyfriend (the one in between my ex and my current fiance) and his current girlfriend and Katie was just all over him (she had not seen him in a good while.) So I got to have a good awkward dinner with all 3 of the men from all 3 of my serious relationships ever. And I had to drive home so I had to endure it sober.

Thursday I had to go shopping for "The Party" with my mother. I swear to God her doctor removed her ovaries and didn't tell her. That's the only explanation for how my mother has been behaving. Oh. My. God... I had no fingernails left by the end of the day and I was so frustrated I had started plucking the little baby hairs that grow around my hairline. And I only did it with my right hand so I look like I have a lopsided hairline.

I think part of her problem is that she has Adult ADD so she doesn't like to stand still. I did not inherit this from her. Anyhow, she has adult ADD and has been ordered to do nothing more strenuous than walking for 3 weeks. So she has been wanting to do all this stuff and can't. So since she can't, I'm expected to. And when I can't keep up, she gets downright mean and all but tells me I'm a lazy screwup that can't do anything right. So it takes every ounce of self-control for me not to push her out of a moving vehicle, or just pull over on the interstate and tell her to WALK HOME since I can't drive right, can't plan out my route so I don't cross my own path, etc...

Also, even though there has been like 8 or 9 people at our house at any given moment, whenever she wants something done, my name is the only one that comes out of her mouth. And GOD FORBID I suggest that anyone else help her, because that means there is something wrong with me.

And it's only Thursday...

Friday I had promised to watch the children of a friend of mine who just managed to get a job after being unemployed for a while because she had a rough pregnancy, followed by a baby with digestive problems, etc... So of course when I'm headed out the door, mom throws the mother of all hissy fits because I'm leaving and "The Party" is the next day and we just have so much to do. As if it won't be me doing everything at the last minute either way. What a joke.

So I watch the kids, run to my old apartment to bake the cakes since my cake supplies are still there, and I wrap presents while I'm waiting for the cakes to bake. Mom calls. I die a little inside. She wants pizza and she wants it now!! Get the cakes out of the oven and bring me food now!! So the cakes actually look like they could come out of the oven, but forget them getting time to cool off, I pack them in a box, still in their hot pans and throw them in the car. I grab the pizza and almost get pulled over for speeding twice trying to get them to her.

I get to the house and realize that I have to go back to my apartment because I was in such a hurry that I forgot my cake decorating supplies. Mom freaks and I have a meltdown. I screamed and cried and yelled and stormed out of the house. I called my fiance and totally took it out on him which made me feel better. I got what I needed and I headed back to the house.

When I got there mom ad dad had gone. THANK GOD!! My ex came to the door and tried to console me and hug me. I punched him in the chest and told him not to be nice to me, that was the last thing I needed. He was a dick when I married him, could he please not try and turn over a new leaf in the middle of my mental split?!?

Mom came back and ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. She asked me what was wrong. I was seriously speechless. It was at that moment I realized that she had been possessed by Satan. Either that or God was fucking with me and knew just what buttons to push. I spent the rest of the night screaming at everyone and crying if anyone so much as looked at me cross-eyed. I was up until 3:30 am getting ready for "The Party."

At 6am, after her long night of sleep mom woke me up after my 2 1/2 hours. It was the day of "The Party" and I had cooking and decorating to do. Because I'm living with Satan's helper and sharing a house with 3 of the most useless, lazy men placed on this earth, it all came down to me.

Fortunately, my interfering cousin showed up in the nick of time to take things over. I let her. Usually I would never let a stranger into my kitchen and let them tell me what to do, but my spirit had been pretty much crushed. I made my first (but certainly not my last) cocktail of the day and let her have at it. Of course then she got all of the credit for all the hard work that went into "The Party" but at this point I quit caring about everything but sleep and liquor.

My mother got a drink and someone tried to chastise her for drinking so soon after her operation. I tiold them to shut up or I would maul them with a broken bottle. Let the battleaxe get drunk. If we are lucky she wll pass out until Monday after I have left for work.

My future in-laws showed up. I got another drink.

My ex felt compelled to start forcing his opinions on how "we" are raising "our" daughter on me
(despite the fact that "we" is "me" for 51 weeks of the year.) I got another drink.

My Nanny (father's mother) showed up and complained about the hot weather and cold food. I got another drink.

My mother's mother and father showed up. I got another drink.

By the end of the day I was miserable. The only good thing that came out of the day was that Katie had a blast and had a really good birthday. My ex was gone before the party was over, and we didn't run out of booze.

Sunday I slept. All day. I took my mom to one of her friend's house to get her out of my hair and I went home and slept. Katie crawled on top of me from time to time, but bless her little heart she let me sleep.

Next year mom can throw the party. I am on birthday party strike until further notice.

I just HAD to share this!!

My mom just called me in tears. They were laughing tears. Apparently Katie had an accident trying to make it to the toilet today. She called her daddy for help to clean it up. She then ran out of the room to get a towel.

Her daddy walked into my bathroom which has marble floors. Apparently marble floors, a puddle of pee and an unsuspecting ex husband make for a pretty good Monday. You guessed it, he slipped on that puddle of pee, went airborne, and crashed on the marble floors in the puddle of pee.

I love my child.

Jinxy: The Patron Saint of Ex-Husbands

Well this weekend sure was interesting, and it will remain so for the next few days. Why, you aks?? Well, my ex-husband is in town, and he is staying with me this week. (Don't worry, I bought a lot of liquor to keep on hand the day he arrived)

Before I elaborate on that, let me get into my weekend in chronological order. Wednesday my mother had an operation. It was major-but-not really-major if you know what I mean. She was supposed to be in the hospital until Sunday. Well, She had the surgery on Wednesday and everything went well. She called me Wednesday evening at work and made me giggle because she had enough Percoset in her system that she had NO CLUE what she was talking about. I love dad for leaving the cell phone with her while she was high.

Wednesday I also got a call from my ex that he was coming in on Saturday but that he had not found a hotel as of yet. I had known he was coming into town for a while. He lives in France and usually visits for Katie's birthday (which is on this coming up Wednesday) I told him not to worry, we would work it out. I also mentioned this little tidbit to my father.

Thursday is when it all went haywire. My mother called me and informed me that her half brother and his wife would be coming to stay with us Friday night as they were passing through on a road trip (they live in Indiana) and they wanted to come see her in the hospital. Great... my half-aunt and I positively cannot stand each other, and the only reason we have not had it out up to this point is because my mother was always on hand to beg me not to say anything. Mom was going to be in the hospital, and I was going to have to play hostess... Not my favorite piece of news, but oh well.

Then, my dad calls. It seems my ex could not reach me, so he called my dad, who promptly offered to let him stay at our house with all of us... Sigh.

The day did get a little better when I found out my mom was being released Friday morning rather than Sunday. This meant the half-aunt would be occupied with my mother and I would be able to better ignore her.

So Friday mom comes home. She's looking good. The relative arrive, and we have a little mini family reunion. My mom's other brother comes over and he is looking good. It is the first time I had seen him since his heart attack just under 2 weeks ago. He looked surprisingly good. His wife isn't looking so hot. If you looked at the pair of them and had to guess which one of them had recently had angioplasty I bet you would get it wrong. Anywho... (Can you see the pattern in my disdain for the wives of my uncles? They sure do know how to pick 'em in my family)

So Saturday the relatives leave to go back to the corn fields and we prepare to greet my ex. I had to get my fiance to swear on a stack of Bibles that no matter what my ex did or said this weekend that we had to let him live because I need him to continue paying child support, and besides, Katie kinda likes him and we don't want to ruin her birthday. The ex shows up, no fireworks, everything goes smooth, even if it is a very awkward situation.

Sunday I stayed out of everyone's way and in my room all day painting doors and trim. I replaced all the hardware on all the doors in my room, and I must say they are looking better than new now. My room is almost complete except for the flooring which I can't buy until I stop being broke.

So... I spent all weekend playing hostess except Sunday when I turned in to a DIY segment on HGTV. I'm currently living in a house with my parents, fiance, child and ex husband (for the next week)

God I need a drink.

Tuesday's Twins Vol. 2

Okay, so Daisy cut her hair, huh? Well thanks to Ms. Place's screencap of her at the reunion special, I can now show you how she went from Bette to Barb...

Fires

As many of you know, a lot of Southeast Georgia was affected by wildfires. Ever since Thursday I have been down in Waycross assisting with animal rescue and helping feed families displaced by the fires. My parent's church received a call for help from a couple of the local churches in Waycross so Thursday a friend of mine and I loaded up in my car and headed east.

I am by no means a vet, but I got to roll up my sleeves and help care for animals rescued from affected areas. We fed and watered the animals so that the caretakers with experience could assist animals with injuries.

Luckily no one was fatally affected that we know of, but so many families have been displaced by these fires. A lot of the local churches in Waycross teamed up to help feed these families and collect clothes and other essentials to see them through this hard time for them.

Now I'm back, hard at work. Tired. I am moving myself this week. I feel like I may smell like smoke forever, and even if I don't, my car will. But I can't tell you how rewarding the last 4 days were. It was exactly what I needed.