Ain't Weight Gain a BITCH!?!

I know, no one held a gun to my head and made me eat my daughter's Halloween loot... but she doesn't like candy, and far be it for me to try and get her on the weight-gain bandwagon. I'm doing her a huge favor, and when she is older, she will see that.

Also, I have like a million cake orders for Thanksgiving. I'm going to be up to my elbows in pies, cakes, cookies, and pastries... I need all of you to be with me for support.

By Christmas I'm going to be completely out of my wardrobe if this keeps up. I keep doing home pregnancy tests because at least if I'm pregnant there will be a justifyable reason for all this weight gain... but no babies (thank god for at least one miracle)

And my well-meaning boyfriend (bless his little heart) keeps trying to force-feed me ice cream. I keep warning him that if I gain one more pound, I'm throwing everything out of our kitchen except the green beans and tuna fish. Of course he eats nothing but red meat and potatoes. He will make the occasional exception for chicken, but it has to be fried. I hate men sometimes...